Finally Free [Levi] by Riley Edwards

Author:Riley Edwards [Edwards, Riley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-01-30T06:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

Levi

I had screwed up in so many ways I couldn’t figure out where to begin to mentally chastise myself. I had no business touching Blake, yet I did. Not only had I touched her, but I also fucked her. I treated her like she was nothing more than a warm body to abuse. I had never, not once in the all the times we were together, fucked her. It didn’t matter the pace, the position, or the location – I had always made love to her. Even if I had her bent over the hood of my truck for a quickie, I still whispered how beautiful she was, how much I loved and adored her, how much the gift of her body meant to me.

I was a dick.

“I know you can. But I want to.” It was wrong of me to demand this of her. I was taking more from her than I deserved, using this small gesture to assuage some of my guilt for basically ripping off her clothes and taking her. I made sure she was taken care of physically, and there was no mistaking that she had gotten what she needed, but emotionally, I gave her nothing. Not even a kiss. I ached to feel her lips on mine; that was exactly why I held back.

She was stiff and uncomfortable as I cleaned between her legs, wiping the evidence of our shared release away. To make matters worse, we didn’t use a condom. Never had I gone bareback; not in a drunken one-night stand, not in the height of passion – never.

“Fuck. I’m sorry Blake,” I said.

“For?” she asked, her brow pulling together.

“I shouldn’t have done that. Everything is hard enough. I shouldn’t have lost control and touched you,” I admitted.

“You mean you shouldn’t have fucked me?” she questioned.

I cringed at her using such a crass word to describe us having sex. “Yes.”

“Why are you sorry? I’m not. I think we both needed it, the rush of the op, the thrill of the kill. I know I needed a way to burn off all of the adrenaline. Was it not good for you?”

I’d give her props for trying; however, no amount of CIA training could hide the truth in her eyes. I also knew Blake straight down to her soul. She hadn’t had sex in five years, confirming what I already knew- Blake didn’t give her body easily. She could play like she was unaffected that I’d used her, but she was hurt. I debated on calling her out on her bullshit but decided that would make me an even bigger dick to make her admit that she was hurt. Instead, I decided to play along and let it go while imparting a little truth.

“The sex was always good between us, best I’d ever had. If you’re good, I am, too. As long as we both understand what that was.”

“I understand just fine, Levi. I’m not some stupid eighteen-year-old girl with stars in her eyes. Thanks for the fuck.

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